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    July 10

    PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS!!!!

    A Marine was attending some college courses between assignments.  He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.    

    One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform! I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.

    The lecture room fell silent - you could hear a pin drop.

    Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."

    It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine  got out of his chair,went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform.  The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.  The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

    The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you?  Why did you do that?"

    The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole.  So He sent me."


    God bless our soldiers!!!!!!
     
    Cpl. Fish
    July 04

    Idiots

    Well, it is the 4th of July and you know what that means....Every idiot that knows how to drive is out there driving on the roads.  And there excuse is always the same..."i am just here to see the fireworks."  Let me tell you a story. 
     
    Tonight, the 3rd of July our county has decided to do a fire work show at the lake in the area.  So everybody was out there doing that.  It was a great show.  But the worse was yet to come.  You know how it is. You go to see the show and everythinig is good until you want to get out of there.  If you leave sooner then anyone else, then you are ok.  But if you wait until the show is over and then try to leave....good luck!!  But anyways, i was sitting out on the road trying to help keep the traffic running smoothly.  I was doing a damn good job of it as well. 
     
    Well, here i am standing on the road, trying to stop a vehicle that is headed my way.  I wanted to stop him so i could let the other cars go through.  I had my hand up, was using my handy dandy flash light and everything.  But i could tell he was not going to stop.  He just kept driving straight for me.  I finally had to jump out of the way of the pick-up as it went past me.  (just to give you an idea of how close it was to hitting me, If i would have blinked, my eye lashes would have hit the pick-up.)  Well, maybe not that close, but i was only about a foot away from being road kill. 
     
    Scary situation for a cop to be in.  I was pissed, and the driver still did not stop.  So what did i do..?  I screwed up, and through my handy dandy flash light at the pick-up.  All i heard was a loud bang and then the driver finally stopped.  I was still pissed off.  As i got up there the driver was very sorry for what had happened.  After i chewed him for a little bit, i then began to apoligize as well.  I know that is not how a cop is supposed to act.  But like i said, i was PISSED.   But i checked the pick-up and there was no damage done to it at all.  My poor flash light though got the worst end of it.  I no longer have that flash light anymore. 
     
    I told the Sheriff what happened, and i could tell, he was a little upset, but at the same time understood.  I explained what happened to the Sheriff and he told me to just make a note of it just in case.  Man, it sure is a good thing that I work for such a damn good Sheriff.   I thought for sure i would be getting a little taken off my back end if you know what i mean. 
     
    But anyways, please be careful out there and have a safe 4th of July.  This is a time to celebrate.  So have fun doing it, but still be careful. 
     
    Cpl. throws flash light at cars.